


Make Me Smile (Come Up and See Me)

by sazzlette (notallbees)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alcohol, Awkward Sexual Situations, First Time, Homophobic Language, M/M, Marauders' Era, Slurs, Underage Drinking, Unreliable Narrator, implied Remus/Sirius - Freeform, the grim seventies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-26
Updated: 2018-04-26
Packaged: 2019-04-28 07:59:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14444850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notallbees/pseuds/sazzlette
Summary: A story about James and Sirius that is not at all true. Except when it is.





	Make Me Smile (Come Up and See Me)

**Author's Note:**

> A repost from a very long time ago! Holler all you nerds that remember _Snitched_
> 
>  
> 
> An ideal soundtrack to basically all my marauder fic would be [the Velvet Goldmine OST](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xH3KILLaTkI&list=PL5BGXIoPVFsaAwr6svPchL7zBVgs-s2_7).

-It started like this.

 

"Come on, 's your turn to tell a story," mumbled Sirius, rubbing his head against James' stomach.

James groaned and shoved him away. There was a frantic, awkward scrabbling, and then a loud thwump as Sirius hit the floor. "Shit," said James, pressing a hand over his mouth and snorting through his fingers. "Are you dead?"

"No' yet!" A hand appeared through the gap in the curtains, and then Sirius sat up and pulled himself back onto the bed. "And you'll be pleased to know I saved the absinthe."

"Good." James nodded absently. He didn't remember there being absinthe. "Did we have any?"

"Yes. That's why there's green stains on your sheet."

"Oh thank fuck for that." James flopped onto the pillow. "Thought I'd been sick."

"Prongs that's vile."

"Your face is vile."

"My face is worshipped by remote African tribes."

"Shut up."

Sirius slumped at the end of the bed in defeat. "Kay. Tell a story."

James sighed and threw an arm over his face. It's not that he didn't want to play, just that he was very drunk and the room was starting to spin and he couldn't remember his middle name and Sirius was really really starting to irritate him. "Don't know any."

"Yes you do," said Sirius condescendingly, reaching out and stroking one fingertip along the arch of James' right foot. "You already told me the one about Peter and the house-elf remember?"

"No. Who's Peter?" James was starting to panic now. It was too bloody hot hidden inside his bed hangings and he couldn't remember his middle name. Sirius was still stroking his foot. "Stop that!" he snapped, kicking out and feeling his foot connect with something soft.

"Ouch! Watch the wedding tackle if it's all the same to you."

James sat up and crawled towards Sirius, fingers reaching for his hands as he tumbled clumsily against him. "What's my middle name?"

"Y'what?"

"What's my middle name!?" he asked desperately, grabbing Sirius' arms. "Why won't you tell me? Who are you working for?"

"Prongs," said Sirius, putting his hands either side of James' head and staring him dead in the eyes. James swallowed nervously and tried to wriggle away, but Sirius held him still. "Oi, look at me. Stop being such a ninny. You don't have a middle name, it's just the absinthe making you paranoid."

"Promise?"

"I promise. Now, stop being a twat and be quiet."

James nodded slowly, and Sirius grinned and kissed him sloppily on the forehead. "That's the spirit. Now, once upon a time-"

 

-Wait a moment. I'm telling it all wrong. It actually started like this.

 

"Once upon a time last week there was a girl called Remus Jane Lupin."

"That's not his middle name," interrupted James, snatching the bottle off Sirius. 

"Of course it is. Who's telling the story here?"

James shrugged and slumped back into the pillows, licking experimentally at the neck of the bottle with the tip of his tongue. 

"As I was saying, there was a girl called Remus who was totally wet for her charming and pants-meltingly gorgeous best friend, who—"

"Wait wait let me guess, his name was Sirius Black?"

"Bingo! And so one day when Remus Jane had spent a whole Charms lesson staring at Sirius and licking her lips in a pathetic sort of way and doing that disgusting quill-sucking thing, Sirius dragged her into a cupboard and gave her a love bite the size of Australia."

James choked on a mouthful of absinthe, and winced as the sticky liquid trickled over his chin and slid down his chest. "You didn't."

"I did."

"He told us that was Stacey Hornbush!"

"He also told us in first year that he wasn't a werewolf."

"Okay but—"

"And then in fourth year he told you that chocolate cured the flu so you'd take pity and buy him some even though you knew he was being rationed because it was exams."

"Yes but he—"

"And then there was the time with that Niffler—"

"Shut up, Padfoot. I get the point. You sucked Moony's neck in a cupboard."

Sirius suddenly looked uncomfortable. "You don't have to say it like that."

"Like what? Like you're a poncy, prancing shirtlifting poof?"

Sirius jumped on him.

"Watch the bottle!"

"Prongs you idiot be quiet," hissed Sirius, sitting on his legs. "Moony's the faggot, not me. I was just…winding him up."

"Right, of course you were."

"I was."

"You love him."

"I do not."

"You want to kiss him and touch him and corrupt his newfound prefectly ways."

"Prongs shut up!"

"Make me."

"Right." Grabbing hold of James' arms, Sirius pinned them down and knelt on his wrists so that he couldn't escape, then he pushed James' head to one side with his own, and lowered his mouth to the crook of James' shoulder. James gasped when he felt Sirius' teeth sink into his skin, and he tried crossly to throw Sirius off him, but it wasn't any use. Sirius' tongue flickered over his skin, and then there was a strange tingly sort of feeling.

"Get on with it," he said after a minute, wriggling uncomfortably. "You're heavy."

Sirius released his shoulder with a slurp. "I am not!" he said in a scandalised tone.

"Go on, bumboy," said James, wresting one hand free and shoving Sirius onto his back. "Clear off."

"Oh I see, playing hard to get." Sirius grinned a slow lazy sort of grin that made James' stomach attempt to leap about five feet into the air. Or maybe that was the absinthe. "You're just as bad as Moony," Sirius muttered, getting onto his hands and knees again and crawling towards James. "Such a bad little girl." He placed a hand either side of James' torso and leaned in closer. "Nobody likes a tease-"

 

-No, that wasn't it either. It was more like this.

 

"That's got to be the gayest thing I've seen all year."

"Why, haven't you looked in the mirror recently?"

"Har har, very funny. Bet you won't be laughing if I do this." Sirius seized James' nipple ring between thumb and forefinger and twisted it slightly. 

"Jesuschristbuggeringfuck," hissed James. He wriggled free and kicked Sirius in the shin. "You nipple-grabbing sadist bastard!"

Sirius grinned. "I like it."

"Yeah well you also like the Bay City Rollers, and they're shit. You're a twat," mumbled James, folding his arms protectively.

"Prongs darling if you don't like it you shouldn't have got it done. Besides, I think it looks very manly."

"Do you really?"

"'Course." Sirius blew him a kiss and pulled out the cigarette he'd tucked behind his ear. "Girls love that shit."

James watched Sirius climb into the window seat and light up. "D'you think Evans would?"

Sirius rolled his eyes and blew out a thick stream of smoke. "Oh you're not still on about her are you? Why'd you want to mutilate yourself for someone who kicks you in the bollocks every time you get close enough?"

"Not every time! Anyway you've got your eyebrow pierced."

"That's because I'm rock and roll." Sirius flicked his cigarette out the window and winked. "You're just roll."

"Yeah well so's your mum."

"Don't make me grab your nipple again."

"You wouldn't dare."

"Oh wouldn't I?"

 

-No that definitely didn't happen. I think maybe it went something like this.

 

"Prongs you cunt hold still."

"My eyes are itching. I have to scratch them."

Sirius groaned and caught James' chin with his left hand. "It's just the absinthe talking. Ignore it and the feeling will go away. And stop bloody blinking so much."

"This is stupid anyway," said James mutinously. "We look like girls."

"Nonsense." Sirius kissed him on the nose. "We look very glam rock."

"You've been listening to too much Cockney Rebel," muttered James, rubbing at his nose with his sleeve.

"You can never listen to too much Cockney Rebel."

"Why don't you just change your name to Sebastien and parade around in a frock and be done with it?"

"Because that, Prongs, would be gay."

"Ahh yeah."

"Look up." Sirius pulled on James' cheek with his thumb as he swiped the kohl stick along James' lower eyelid. "Ta da! All done."

"So what now?"

Sirius grinned at him and raised one eyebrow. "I can think of a few things."

"Not if it involves sneaking in Minerva's room again, not after last time."

"Not that you idiot," said Sirius, clipping him round the ear. "Let's take our clothes off and dance the night away."

"Righto!" shouted James, pulling his t-shirt over his head and reaching for the hem of Sirius'. "Off!"

"You've smudged your eyeliner."

"Fuck the eyeliner," said James gleefully, undoing his trousers and making a dash for the record player. Unfortunately they slid down and caught round his knees, tripping him up halfway across the room. "Ouch."

"Idiot," said Sirius, pulling his own trousers off and then helping James be rid of his. "Come on, up you get."

James took Sirius' hand, but Sirius had obviously had more to drink than he realised, because he overbalanced and crashed onto the floor beside James.

"Ouch."

"Let's stay here," said James into the carpet. Sirius mumbled an affirmative, then rolled over and hooked a leg over James'. "Uh, Sirius?"

"Mmrm?"

"Your wand is digging into my hip."

"That's not my wand."

"I know."

 

-Alright this time I've got it, I swear. This is the one.

 

"Padfoot. Padf- ohh and that's your hand on my- oh goddd I can't breathe."

"James. James."

"What?"

"Got any Vaseline?"

"Oh no. Noooo no. You're not going anywhere near my arse, you...you arse-banditing sex pervert!"

"Shush," mumbled Sirius, giving James' cock a squeeze through his pyjamas. "I bet it's not so bad. Come on, has Wormtail got any?"

"I don't even want to know." James was silent for a second as he fought an internal battle. Half of him wished Sirius would just fuck the fuck off, and the other half wished he'd just get down there and start sucking. "I bet Moony's got some."

"Ah! Good thinking." Sirius slithered off the bed and crept over to Remus' chest of drawers. "Ooh that little minx, he has as well." He clambered back onto the bed, nudging one knee between James' legs and leaning over him. 

"Probably has it just in case Gilderoy Lockhart drops in."

"But we never told him about that time at New Year. He still thinks it was Eleanor Jackson who snogged him when the lights went out."

"Well then maybe he's keeping it for you."

"Don't be stupid."

"Padfoot are you sure about this?"

"Don't question me, dear," said Sirius, ducking his head and licking from James' bellybutton all the way up to his chin. 

"Nnrghh okay okay, get on with it."

Sirius laughed and leant down to bite James' nipple gently, sucking the gold ring into his mouth and circling his tongue around it. James whimpered and curled his fingers into the sticky, absinthe-stained sheet. 

"Kit off then, Potter."

James nodded and hurriedly shuffled off his pyjama bottoms, tossing them to the foot of the bed and staring up at Sirius expectantly. Sirius pushed him onto his back and then hooked his arms under James' knees, pushing them up and crawling between his thighs. 

"Slut," he whispered, sliding his tongue from the base of James' cock up to the tip. James was about to say something rude in reply, when Sirius shoved a finger up his arse. 

"Ohholyjesusfuckingmarybuggeringbuggerupmyarseohhmygoodddd."

 

"Prongs, what the fuck are you doing?"

"Nothing. I was just—"

"Have you forgotten the code??"

"The what?"

"The CODE you stupid spunk-brained pigfart. You know, the code that states that we do not EVER talk about The Incident."

"Ohhhh that code."

"Yes that code."

"Padfoot I'm sorry but I was tricked. TRICKED."

"I don't want to hear it. Go to your room."

"Padfoot I'm s—"

"It's too late for apologies. I'm getting myself a new best friend."

"But—"

"And don't you make that face at me. I INVENTED that look."

"But—"

"Don't make me come up there!"

"But—"

"Do you want me to do the Vaseline thing again? Because I will."

"...Maybe."

"…Alright get your kit off and I'll be there in five."


End file.
